lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
