how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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