if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
now i know why i became what i already was.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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