it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
