I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
