@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
