Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
