can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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