at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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