Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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