if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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