he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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