I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
