I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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