Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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