she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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