So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
