sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
