It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
