going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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