The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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