theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
