I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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