Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
