Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
