Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
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