You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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