That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
