First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
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