so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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