I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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