i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
And then he peed in my hair
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