Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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