I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
