Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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