You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
