before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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