I love black thongs
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
