I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
