I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
