whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
