So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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