so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
