Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
