I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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