He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
