I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
