Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He has the fingertips of a God
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