Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
