I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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