WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
